I've lived in several parts of the United States. One of the eye opening experiences I had, as I moved from the west coast to the east coast to serve an LDS mission, revolved around the various cultures that existed from one state to another. New Hampshire seemed to have the same resonance that the west coast had, Vermont had a progressive feel, while Maine came across as "down east" (if you've ever been there, you know what I mean). In each of these states, I met hundreds of people that have never moved out of state. They are satisfied with their lives, and are happy with the culture that they enjoy with friends and family.
When my time as a missionary came to a close, I returned home to Idaho for a few months, then started my college experience at Brigham Young University. My time in Provo, UT was a unique experience, since many of my classmates and professors belonged to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Never before had I been surrounded by so many who believed the same things about God that I did.
Immediately after I graduated from BYU in 2012, I moved to San Francisco. There, I was introduced to several new cultures, from the hipster movement to the tech industry to startup culture (which I have since joined). While I was there, I suffered through seemingly endless hours of traffic, ran along the beach, and ate at some great restaurants.
Each period of my life is marked by very different experiences that differentiate it from the others. One experience that has remained throughout each has been the pressure to conform. Serve my mission a certain way. Believe a certain thing. Support a certain group or movement. Wherever we live, society tries to pressure us into following the "acceptable" path.
Regardless of my personal belief on any particular issue, I believe the trend of forcing conformity is wrong. It relies on fear and shame to motivate, not truth or what is right. Rather than pressure people to conform to our way of thinking, we should 1) understand, 2) explain, and 3) invite others.
1) Understand. Until you know where the other person is coming from, you cannot really respect their opinions as an individual. We cannot do that unless we ask questions and actually listen.
2) Explain. When you understand what the other person believes, and why they believe it, you can to start to explain your own opinions in a non-threatening way that your friend can understand.
3) Invite. Ask this person to do something about what you've talked about together. Have them research something for themselves, join that service group to see what you mean, or to talk to God and get his opinion. Ask them if you can chat with them again in the future.
Conformity is based on fear, both for the society who fears its members and for the individual who conforms, not mutual respect and enlightenment. If we are as right as we think we are, fear should never be our motivation.
